HILARY DUFF HAS BALLS

Hilary Duff just released a greatest hits album. The album, which is called “Most Wanted”, features classic tracks from Duff’s 2003 release Metamorphosis as well as from her 2004 eponymous masterpiece. Let’s do the math:

2 YEARS + 2 ALBUMS = GREATEST HITS

That’s unbelievable. Audioslave better damn well put out a best-of record next year or I’m going to pitch a fit.

Hilary Duff has such an extensive discography, reflecting the breadth and depth of her musical abilities. Sometimes she sings pop, sometimes she sings pop-rock. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. The woman is a genius. She’s like Mozart, but with better hair.

At least she’s cute. She has tiny boobs, sure, but at least she’s not the psycho hose beast that is her sister Haylie Duff. GOO!

November 3rd, 2005

BON JOVI: MADONNA IS A CRAPPY MOM

In addition to dressing like a transsexual and pissing off rabbis, Madonna is apparently a terrible mother, at least according to hair band messiah Jon Bon Jovi.

“I’ve been in this industry for 22 years and no one has any idea what my four kids look like. I keep my private life private and I always have. You see these people who let their kids become famous for nothing - what’s that all about? She can say what she likes but Madonna takes those kids out to every premiere she ever goes to. These kids have done nothing and yet we all know what they look like? It’s crazy, man, but each to their own. My kids don’t have security guards outside their school because no one knows what they look like. And that’s the way I’m going to keep it.”

257 comments October 20th, 2005