Rate Celebrity Plastic Surgery (City Rag)
Lindsay Lohan’s Bathroom Antics (Egotastic!)
Christina Aguilera is a naughty hand-cuffed nurse (IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay)
Hilary Duff snuffs Britney and Jessica (Just Jared)
Madonna Calls Gwen a Copy Cat (PopSugar)
Brad Pitt Likes Being The Daddy (A Socialite’s Life)
50 Cent Didn’t Understand (WWTDD)
October 31st, 2005 TG
In the October 12th issue of Steppin’ Out, Tara Reid talks about all of the hot socialite topics: Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, partying, disgusting fake boobs falling out of people’s clothes, hanging out in German snuff bars, etc. One of the hot button issues she touches upon is the current anti-Tara trend that she claims has pervaded mass media in general. To wit:
“I think there must be a journalist school where students are taught how to kill Tara Reid. Even when I try to go out in really nice clothes, either the press won’t show the picture or they’ll just make fun of me. Even when I do something good, they’ll never write about it. They only write bad things or say mean things about me and I don’t understand why.”
Unfair or no, some celebrities continue to draw the ire of journalists regardless of what they do. For all of Paris Hilton’s flaws and lack of discernable talent, the media seems to be intrigued by her but they are not malicious. Nobody seems to like Tara Reid, despite the fact that she has two good movies (American Pie, American Pie 2) to Hilton’s zero and made several notable guest appearances on Scrubs.
If anything, despite her countless shortcomings, Hilton conducts herself in a somewhat graceful manner, whereas Reid is always seen drunk and falling into/onto/out of various cars/tables/floors/people. Plus her breasts frighten small children.
October 31st, 2005 TG
Elizabeth Hurley, star of Austin Powers and not much else, thinks fellow British bombshell Sienna Miller made a mistake by cutting her hair short. Here are some recent pics if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Hurley, apparently angered by the fact that she is now 40 to Miller’s 23 and they have both appeared in the same number of watchable movies (one), had this to say.
Sienna Miller, whom Elizabeth once called “a bit pedestrian”, reckons Jude Law’s ex shouldn’t have cut her hair.
“That’s the thing about valuing trends above sexiness,” she told reporters, “It exposes your flaws. That cut exposes the poor girl.”
SNAP! Now, I’m not going to sit here and argue semantics, mostly because I’m not exactly sure what semantics are. What I am sure of is that both of these ladies are extremely hot and extremely feisty, and all I’m saying is that if they want to have at it, I have a kiddie pool and a drum full of KY that nobody’s using. The loser will be locked in my basement for two weeks and forced to listen to me quote Old School one-liners at her in a terrible English accent. The winner will only have to tolerate a week of that behavior.
October 28th, 2005 TG
Fresh off of her recent adoption trial victory, Angelina Jolie has a message for the orphaned children of the world: you’re on notice. If you live in an impoverished country, Jolie will come for you, she will adopt you, and she will give you a mohawk and carve homemade tattoos into your arm.
“There’s something about making a choice, waking up and travelling somewhere and finding your family.”
“Most of the night I just thought about how quickly I want to adopt again,” she said.
“There are so many wonderful places. There are many parts of Asia, Africa, South America, so sooner or later I’ll end up everywhere, I’m sure.”
“I know some of the kids that were next to my daughter (at the orphanage); two of them passed away, with symptoms very similar to hers,” she told People. “I really do believe that if I didn’t get her out at that time, that she wouldn’t be here. She was days away.”
If Angelina Jolie wants to save the children of the world, that’s fine by me. If she wants to adopt them all so she can boil them down and render them into soap, I’m cool with that too. Considering the inevitable overpopulation problem that today’s baby-crazy society is inexorably heading for, it is actually very noble, selfless, and sensible for Jolie to embrace less fortunate children and make them her own. That, and she also has a great rack. To wit:
October 27th, 2005 TG
Eva Longoria doesn’t seem to get it. She thinks that even though she’s on a top-5 television show, is sexy as hell, and wears outfits like the one pictured at the end of this post, that she should be immune from the inexorable paparazzi crush. You see, she’s a good old-fashioned Texas girl and all of this attention is just too much for her to handle.
“I’m just a Texan through and through. I want to move back to Texas as soon as I’m done with
the show, whenever that is. You know, I’m never followed by paparazzi in San Antonio. I’m never bothered with people in the trees trying to get a picture of me in my kitchen in San Antonio”, Longoria said.“I go to the supermarket and I go shopping with my mom. I go to Wal-mart”, the actress added.
What she doesn’t seem to realize is that if she were still back in Texas she would just be one of a thousand beautiful girls herding cattle and living a regular life with a regular income, regular clothes (i.e. cattle pants) and a regular boyfriend. So pack up your shit, honey, because as soon as you leave there will be a dozen girls ready to take your place, just begging to be trampled by photogs while walking their pugs or on the way to the gym. Smell you later.
October 27th, 2005 TG
Lindsay Lohan recently revealed that at the peak of her recent stick figure development program she not only looked like death — she was literally within death’s cold, boney grasp.
Lohan was so weak doctors were immediately forced to hook her up to an intravenous drip.
She says: “I was going through a lot of stuff and overworking and not thinking of my body. I was going through that phase everyone goes through.
“I lost 20-25 pounds. I was on IV drips. I nearly died.”
She’s right you know. We’ve all been there: looking like a halogen lamp with arms, able to hide behind microphone stands, looking like a skeleton with freckles. Ahh, memories.
She’s gradually returning to her previously-established level of hotness, as evidenced by recent pictures of her that didn’t even make me turn away in horror. The shots below were taken on 10/25 in Hollywood and feature Lohan with noticeably puffier lips than normal. It’s unclear if she’s nursing some kind of ailment like a bee sting or a punch in the face from Hillary Duff’s mom, or if she just had them pumped up cosmetically. Your guess is as good as mine.
October 27th, 2005 TG
Who doesn’t enjoy a good ass-whooping? Charlize Theron thinks they’re ‘a-ok’, even though there’s apparently some law against beating your kids in the US. It’s just another example of “the man” bringing Charlize down. Theron was raised in South Africa and her childhood consisted of much physical discipline from her mother.
Theron says: “It couldn’t happen in America today, because she’d be put in jail, and to me that’s a very sad thing, because I always deserved it.
“Never once did I go: ‘God, this is so unfair.’ Afterward, I would go up to her and apologise, because I knew that I had been wrong.”
I’m not an advocate by any stretch of violence against children, but how are parents supposed to keep their kids in line without the occasional shovel to the face?
October 26th, 2005 TG
Following claims by Tom Sizemore last week that he slept with Paris Hilton in 2001, Hilton fired back by saying that she had never even met Sizemore.
“It’s disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs. He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him.”
Thanks to Radar Online, we now know the truth. Hilton is a dirty liar AND a dirty whore.
According to a former close friend of Sizemore’s who was present that evening, “the party started when Tom came home from [since shuttered L.A. restaurant] Las Palmas with a crowd of people he’d picked up along the way. There were lots of drugs flying around and lots of low-rent undesirables all over his house. It was real creepy.”
In the DVD interview, Sizemore claims the two united in feral abandon after the party had cleared out and he followed the sound of a clicking cigarette lighter to find Hilton, the lone straggler, waiting for him in his gym. It was there that she suggested, Penthouse Letters-style, that they have an impromptu workout, the actor claims.
“I’m sure that at some further date, poor Paris will have a flashback and remember that she did have sex with him,” says Sizemore’s former friend. “It will be like a bad dream.”
Wowie wow wow wow. A random poll of people in this room, including myself and my dog, reveals that this “news” comes as a surprise to nobody. Hilton is a crummy actress and it turns out that her skills of deception are equally pedestrian. The pics below of Hilton with sexpot Elisha Cuthbert will make us all feel better, though, won’t they? Sure they will.
October 25th, 2005 TG
It was revealed yesterday that McG was the first choice to direct the new ‘Superman’ film, Superman Returns. His fear of flying kept him from taking the job, concerned that he would freak out during the flight to Australia where principal filming would take place.
He explains, “I didn’t want to fly down there… I don’t really freak out that we’re gonna crash but I freak out [when] everything’s great and you’re at 40,000 feet and then you realize you’re in a steel tube and you can’t get out of there and there’s nothing but water everywhere when you look down.”
This is a big break for ‘Superman’ fans, as McG’s (aka Joseph McGinty Nichol) resume includes such colossal shitbombs as Charlie’s Angels, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, and The Offspring Complete Music Video Collection, as well as the Mike Dexter/Bill Bellamy TV vehicle “Fastlane”.
When Nichol declined, Brian Singer was brought on instead. Singer’s credits include the superb The Usual Suspects as well as X-Men and X2: X-Men United.
Tags: superman, brian singer, mcg, moviesOctober 20th, 2005 TG
Back in September, Gwyneth Paltrow said she had a more European sensibility and that America was young and immature. Now she hates London, too.
“My husband thinks I’m way too obsessed with cleanliness and germs,” Gwyneth admits. “I’m just like, ‘The street is filthy, could we take off our shoes before we come into the house?’ He used to imitate me and say, ‘Ewwww, oh my God!’” Gwyneth also complains about customer service in the UK, claiming it is “rubbish.” “They’ll tell you it’ll take two weeks for your internet service to be fixed! It drives me nuts,” whined Paltrow.
England fired back, however.
“If you don’t like it, then go home.” A representative for a British tourism board told the Daily Mail, “We dispute what Miss Paltrow has said. Thanks to the work of groups like Keep Britain Tidy, the streets…are cleaner than they have been in decades. And the best thing about our service is how polite we are - something the millions of Americans who visit Britain each year really appreciate.”
Here are some recent photos of the lass with her nipples sticking out of her dress. Whee!
October 20th, 2005 TG